Sunday, 4 October 2009

Caring for Parents

"You are still single, so you have more time." I have heard this saying countless time, and I really do wonder whether there is any basis to this statement. I often said that while I may still be single, it does not necessarily mean I have more time than those who are married and with family. Being one the primary care givers to my aged parents, I do have to look after their welfare too. For example, in the month of October itself, my parents have several medical appointments as follow:

Oct 2 - Father's doctor appointment for his frozen shoulder
Oct 5 - Mother's appointment with urologist
Oct 7 - Mother's appointment at the spine clinic
Oct 15 - Father's appointment at the orthopedic clinic
Oct 30 - Father's appointment at the blood clinic

Applying for leave during the semester is difficult. For example, how am I going to apply for leave on Oct 15, the day where the seminary will be having the commissioning service for our graduating students, followed by the graduation rehearsal? Since I am being appointed as the Marshall for the graduation service, my presence is needed at the rehearsal.

It is no wonder that those who run paid private services to bring the elderly to the doctor's appointment are having good business. The charges averages about RM100 per doctor's visit. That's decent money to be made, and it makes the budding NT scholar wonder why he has not changed his field yet! Not a bad idea in providing the services of bringing the elderly to the doctors. It could possibly be a good meaningful time ministering to them. In addition, the typical waiting time at the hospital is usually 2-3 hours, and that would give me some good moments to catch up with reading (while being paid for)!


Paul Long said...

Because of your calling? :-)

But on a more serious note. Sorry to hear of your dilemma. Here's a possible solution?

Are you parents comfortable with someone else taking them, namely a friend?

One thing I do where I can is I block time out to take senior members of my church for such hospital visits. It is not that I am so free nor this is mean that they have uncaring family members. It's just a reality that (like you wrote) sometimes it is hard to take time off due to work commitments (single children or otherwise). With a decent amount of notice I am able to accommodate and it is a good time for me to get to know my members better as well as minister to them in a practical way. (It'as also a good testimony to non Christians!)

In between times (when they are having their check up etc) I read / pray or even if I have the energy and opportunity, talk to people, do a little magic etc.

Sceptics δΈθ‚–η”Ÿ said...

I am touched by your confession....son of filial piety...

a good son,usually should be a good husband...

Kar Yong said...

Hi Paul,
Thanks for your suggestion. I have thought of your suggestion before, but I guess the curse of Klang Valley is that the majority of people hardly have time for their family, much less to extend help to others. It is not that they do no want to extend help, but time just does not permit.

At times, some friends have gone beyond the call of duty to help. This is greatly appreciated.

Kar Yong said...

Hi Sceptics,
Me a good husband? Yet to be proven!

Vivien said...

Kar Yong
Because it is a commandments from the Lord to Honor Our Parents.God knows our heart.. He will not let us carry something beyond our ability... cling to the Lord.... He will open a door for us to have time for our parents. He will give us strenght.


Kar Yong said...

Thanks, Vivien, for the thoughts.