Homilectics Hotline

In my previous post, I highlighted my tight preaching schedule for the next couple of months accompanied by a rather interesting cartoon, reproduced in this post.

My colleague in church tries to assure me that the hotline number, 1-800-FORGIVE, will not not go bust.

Well, this might be true if he could help by designing a prerecorded message for the hotline, and it can go something like this...

Thank you for calling 1-800-FORGIVE in response to Kar Yong's sermon. Please listen to the following instructions:

If you don't like Kar Yong's sermon, please press 1;

If you think Kar Yong's sermon is too short, please press 2;

If you think Kar Yong's sermon is too long, please press 3;

If you think Kar Yong's sermon is too intellectual without any practical application, please press 4;

If you think Kar Yong's sermon is too boring, please press 5;

If you think Kar Yong's sermon lacks the anointing of the Holy Spirit, please press 6;

If you wish to speak to our customer care consultants, please press 0

This is what will happen:

If anyone presses 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6, then this pre-recorded message will come on: "We thank you for participating in this survey. Once we have analysed the findings, we will inform Kar Yong about your response in helping him improve his sermons in the future. Thank you for calling 1-800-FORGIVE. Have a blessed day."

If anyone presses 0, they will hear this pre-recorded message: "Sorry, all our customer care consultants are busy at the moment. You call is very important to us, and please hold the line and your call will be attended to in the order that it is received. We are experiencing an unusual high volume of calls at the moment, and the estimated time for your call to be answered by our customer care consultant is 20 minutes. Please hold the line and we will attend to you as soon as the first customer care consultant is available."

Then my recorded sermon will come on for the caller to listen to while he/she holds the line.

If Ionstorm can put this in place, then I think the hotline will definitely not go bust...

Ionstorm, can you help?